I love you, you love me

Warning: Potential posthumous scarring of your childhood.  But wait!  Don't lose faith in humanity: These do not exist.  Yet.

So, I like Halloween (and not just because of all the free candy), but it's gotten kind of ridiculous, eh?  See, some costumes are allowed to be sexy, in my opinion.  Nurses, cheerleaders, Princess Leia, cats, etc, etc, I can accept them just fine.  But I feel that recently, things have been going too far.  For example: Sexy Clownfish?  Sexy Big Bird??  No.  Just, no!

After seeing the Sexy Nemo costume, as well as several Sexy Disney Characters, I started wondering just how far costume manufacturers could push the line between 'Okay' and 'COMPLETELY FUCKING UNACCEPTABLE NO NO FUCK NO'.  I tried to think of things that were really, really unsexy.  And then it hit me: Barney.

As a child, I liked Barney.  I watched the show at least once a week, and I remembered all the little songs (Clean up, clean up, everybody everywhere~), and I must have owned a Barney plushie at some point.  So I want to make it clear: I don't hate Barney.  Maybe I don't like Barney anymore, but I still regard him fondly.  That being said, he is the least sexy imaginary dinosaur ever.  Absolutely nothing about Barney is sexy.

Because of the faint stigma surrounding regular Barney, Sexy Barney is both appalling and addictive.  I ultimately rejected it as a costume, because I am a coward.  But since I couldn't get the idea out of my head, I decided to archive it properly.

So, I give you:
Barney and Friends

And their counterparts, Sexy Barney and Friends

(poses were shamelessly based off of real Halloween costume ads)
(all three of them have tails)
(Baby Bop's eyelashes are too huge to leave out)

In case you don't know who Barney's little friends are, the green one is Baby Bop, and the yellow one is BJ.  Oh, children's television... Of course, this means that their names are Sexy Baby Bop and Sexy BJ.  

At first I was going to put a big Barney head on the Sexy Barney costume, with the mouth open so that your face would be visible.  But then I thought, "Wait, that wouldn't be sexy at all!  Hahaha…AHAHAHAHAHAHAH"  I almost vetoed the mittens for the same reason, but October can be a cold month, and these costumes, true to Sexy Halloween form, aren't offering much warmth.

The saddest thing of all is that after all the work I put into these, I feel quite affectionate towards them.  I think they're awesome.  This is worse than being brainwashed into liking Miley Cyrus's 'Party in the USA.'  (Wait, no, it isn't)

Questions?  Suggestions?  Murderous rants?  

…if anyone out there is brave enough to be Sexy Barney and/or Friends, please, please, PLEASE send me a picture.  I'll love you forever.

ETA:  For the record, here's what's next on the menu: Sexy Teletubbies.  It'll be great, they'll be little spandex jumpers (shorts, or a skirt, and either a tank top or something with sleeves, or, ehhhh), and tall boots, and headbands, and- the best part- the screen on the stomach is just a cut-out, so it shows the wearer's actual stomach.  I'm liking this idea, it's- wait.  There are already Sexy Teletubbies?  Darn.  Looking good, guys.

Tom Hardy is Amazing

This is Edward Thomas Hardy.  He's a British actor.

You might recognize him from Inception, Star Trek: Nemesis, Bronson, or Wuthering Heights.

Or you might not.  Because Tom Hardy is an amazing, chameleonic actor, and when he goes to do a role, he does it proper. He changes his appearance (sometimes drastically, as you can see), and his mannerisms, and his voice - the man is so, so talented. He's going to be incredibly famous, too.  SO INCREDIBLY FAMOUS.

I've never really gotten this crazy over an actor before - the only one that's been close has been Jason Matthew Smith (Cupcake from Star Trek: 2009, but more importantly, Eric Olczyk from Playmakers - he's a football player who, after putting another player in the hospital, suffers from guilt and fear and in general emotes like crazy with his big, blue-green eyes). I mean, I was 13 when Lord of the Rings came out, and I never totally lost it over Orlando Bloom or Viggo Mortensen (or even Karl Urban or David Wenham). This level of fan-worship is still a bit foreign to me, and I always feel like a massive creeper. I've even considered writing fan mail. I mean, holy shit.

Something about this huge football player with woobie eyes.  

Just... LOOK AT HIS EYES DAMNIT

Also? Tom Hardy takes hilarious photos of himself. Like awesome, grade-A Myspace photos, with incredibly amusing captions, and oh my God I cannot contain my love. I'm afraid to even be in the same city as him, because I don't want to turn into a crazed stalker and totally invade his privacy. It makes me feel uneasy, because even though I would love to know what he does in his free time, it's none of my business. But… myargh, I am just so in platonic love and admiration and fluff, and rainbows or puppies (yeah, just wait for the pictures of the puppies) etc.  Er, just to clarify further, it's not a romantic interest- that feels weirdly inappropriate to me.  It's just extreme appreciation.

ETA: Oh my God, read this about a kat that he found in Romania augh.

He's played a lot of darker roles and I just kind of love that he's willing to do those (okay, well, as an actor, in the beginning at least it's probably not like you turn any jobs away), and it's so incredibly awesome that he can pull off such a wide spectrum.  His interviews are always hilarious and intelligent and he's going to be in a romcom (I want to see him in more love storiiieeeees) and Mad Max and Batman 3 and then THIS THIS THIS TINKER TAILOR SOLDIER SPY asfd;lkajsd;lfkjasd just oh my god I will talk about it later after I wring my panties out.
ANYWAYS

I will honestly try to keep the photos to a minimum.  It's embarrassing how obsessed I am, but there's something strangely uplifting about admitting to yourself that you adore someone to the point of outrageousness.  Like hero-worship, but almost self-aware.  So here we go: