I love you, you love me

Warning: Potential posthumous scarring of your childhood.  But wait!  Don't lose faith in humanity: These do not exist.  Yet.

So, I like Halloween (and not just because of all the free candy), but it's gotten kind of ridiculous, eh?  See, some costumes are allowed to be sexy, in my opinion.  Nurses, cheerleaders, Princess Leia, cats, etc, etc, I can accept them just fine.  But I feel that recently, things have been going too far.  For example: Sexy Clownfish?  Sexy Big Bird??  No.  Just, no!

After seeing the Sexy Nemo costume, as well as several Sexy Disney Characters, I started wondering just how far costume manufacturers could push the line between 'Okay' and 'COMPLETELY FUCKING UNACCEPTABLE NO NO FUCK NO'.  I tried to think of things that were really, really unsexy.  And then it hit me: Barney.

As a child, I liked Barney.  I watched the show at least once a week, and I remembered all the little songs (Clean up, clean up, everybody everywhere~), and I must have owned a Barney plushie at some point.  So I want to make it clear: I don't hate Barney.  Maybe I don't like Barney anymore, but I still regard him fondly.  That being said, he is the least sexy imaginary dinosaur ever.  Absolutely nothing about Barney is sexy.

Because of the faint stigma surrounding regular Barney, Sexy Barney is both appalling and addictive.  I ultimately rejected it as a costume, because I am a coward.  But since I couldn't get the idea out of my head, I decided to archive it properly.

So, I give you:
Barney and Friends

And their counterparts, Sexy Barney and Friends

(poses were shamelessly based off of real Halloween costume ads)
(all three of them have tails)
(Baby Bop's eyelashes are too huge to leave out)

In case you don't know who Barney's little friends are, the green one is Baby Bop, and the yellow one is BJ.  Oh, children's television... Of course, this means that their names are Sexy Baby Bop and Sexy BJ.  

At first I was going to put a big Barney head on the Sexy Barney costume, with the mouth open so that your face would be visible.  But then I thought, "Wait, that wouldn't be sexy at all!  Hahaha…AHAHAHAHAHAHAH"  I almost vetoed the mittens for the same reason, but October can be a cold month, and these costumes, true to Sexy Halloween form, aren't offering much warmth.

The saddest thing of all is that after all the work I put into these, I feel quite affectionate towards them.  I think they're awesome.  This is worse than being brainwashed into liking Miley Cyrus's 'Party in the USA.'  (Wait, no, it isn't)

Questions?  Suggestions?  Murderous rants?  

…if anyone out there is brave enough to be Sexy Barney and/or Friends, please, please, PLEASE send me a picture.  I'll love you forever.

ETA:  For the record, here's what's next on the menu: Sexy Teletubbies.  It'll be great, they'll be little spandex jumpers (shorts, or a skirt, and either a tank top or something with sleeves, or, ehhhh), and tall boots, and headbands, and- the best part- the screen on the stomach is just a cut-out, so it shows the wearer's actual stomach.  I'm liking this idea, it's- wait.  There are already Sexy Teletubbies?  Darn.  Looking good, guys.